Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm Most Excited About...#3

These are a few films that have been on my radar for some time, and they're the films I'm probably most excited to see. Some of these films have been released, but I haven't seen them yet, so there. Here's the third film of this series...
"Check it ladies, my wingspan is like huge"

Okay, so considering the last two films I wrote about were A) graphically disgusting enough to make people puke in public, or B) a psychological thriller involving an unbalanced (ironic, I know) ballerina going insane, it might seem strange that I'm so interested in Pale Male. But seriously, have you seen the trailer? Because it will totally make you cry. 

The Legend of Pale Male is a documentary about an extraordinary bird nicknamed "Pale Male" by New Yorkers. Now although Red-tailed Hawks are common in North America, the bird hasn't been seen in New York for a hundred years. In 1993, this one awesome hawk showed up in New York City and was like, "Hey look, a giant kingdom I should rule over! Now I need a sweet crib, mmmm I guess 5th Avenue will do." Birdwatchers took notice of the hawk when he built a huge nest overlooking the city. Before long fans of the Pale Male, as he was named, were congregating to see what he would do next, and pretty soon after that, Pale Male had an international fandom. The movie follows Pale Male and his story.
"I must fly around and make sure everyone remembers I am their ruler."
Now if you're not quite getting why anyone would care about a boring old bird, let me enlighten you. Red-Tailed Hawks are wicked cool. First of all, they have a wingspan of nearly five feet, which means they're twice the size of your toddler. Second, these hawks particularly choose nesting spots that overlook all of their domain, which is generally a cliff overlooking the whole freaking world. Or in Pale Male's case, he picked a spot where he could hang out with Woody Allen and Mary Tyler Moore. These birds weigh only 3 pounds, yet they routinely hunt game that's twice their size. 
This rabbit used to be half his size
Not only that, but they fiercely defend their nests from Eagles, which are twice their size, and Great Horned Owls, which literally eat them for breakfast. Also, watch this video:
Yeah, that bird isn't pissed or anything, Red-tailed Hawks just always sound that cool.

While most reviews label The Legend of Pale Male a sappy film, I don't really care. The point of seeing the movie is not the narrating or the creepers who spend their lives watching this bird and his mate. The point of seeing the movie is to watch a Red-tailed Hawk be awesomely cool. In Hollywood today, everybody has their CG animals, whether they're talking lions in Chronicles of Narnia, or talking bears in Golden Compass, or Hedwig from Harry Potter, or chipmunks, or hamsters, or whatever. The newest twist on the talking animal concept is The Beaver, which is about Mel Gibson communicating through a puppet. Literally the studio describes the film saying, "Walter can't seem to get himself back on track...until a beaver hand puppet enters his life." Anyway, what I'm saying is that Pale Male is the real deal. He isn't CG or made up. As one viewer put it, "The sight of a hawk flipping itself in mid-air and doing a dead drop into a flock of flying pigeons, emerging with lunch clutched in its claws, would be truly breathtaking even if it weren’t taking place against the incongruous backdrop of streetlights and building fa├žades."

Director: Frederic Lilien
Not Rated.

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