Thursday, December 30, 2010

Distinctive Face of the Week


Maybe it's just me, but these days it seems all celebrity debutantes look alike. In the sea of faces it's easy to confuse one celebrity with another. Like Isla Fischer and that other redhead, or say, all of the Jonas Brothers. Sometimes you just stick out because you're kind of funny looking, like Rob Pattinson.

Don't deny it, you know it's kind of true.
But there are a few who are particularly striking. Welcome to the new series, Distinctive Face of the Week. Otherwise known as "Super Pretty People" if we're being honest.

Whatever.

Here's this week's distinctive face:
There's just something about Jennifer Garner's long chin, angular cheekbones, and unbelievable symmetry that sets her apart. Not sets her apart like the Guggenheim looks like a giant toilet bowl, but sets her apart like she's gorgeous.
Love it.



I'm Most Excited About...#5

These are a few films that have been on my radar for some time, and they're the films I'm probably most excited to see. Some of these films have been released, but I haven't seen them yet, so there. Here's the fifth film of this series...
"I have a gun AND a sword. Also I look like
a prostitute wooo!"
Zack Snyder has really proven himself in recent years with a succession of both entertaining and aesthetically pleasing flicks. 300 not only was a great adaptation of Frank Miller's epic graphic novel, it was a fabulous foray into the action genre. Snyder became an instant household name after the film's release, and has used his star power to push other risky, unique projects through. It's not like the guy has some list like Spielberg or Howard a mile long to brag about. He's directed a total of six full-length films, that's it. It's phenomenal that this dude has managed to film success after success after success. It's like he's got some kind of touch of King Midas, only leave out the part about turning his children into gold. I mean, Watchmen  was really a masterpiece (although as a fan of what is hailed as the greatest graphic novel ever written I must say I was disappointed with the film adaptation's weak ending). Still, Snyder's work has a certain artistic edge that most films are missing in favor of cheap tricks and flashy effects. 

Let's also talk for a moment about the fact that Synder seems to like turning genres around. With Dawn of the Dead he made a remake likeable and even...dare I say it? Good.With Watchmen we got a different look at what "Superheroes" might really be like, and with Guardians of Ga'Hoole the main characters were owls. Now, in Sucker Punch Snyder strikes again with the rebellious twist- an action flick starring only girls? Seriously, it's absurd. Almost every female action hero has shared the screen with a bigger, better male counterpart, including Trinity, Hit Girl, and Sarah Connor. You could count on two hands the number of female heroines who have ever stood on their own (Here, I'll help you: Ripley, Lara Croft, Buffy Summers, Sidney Bristow, Alice, The Bride, and maybe Selene. There. Done.) 
This is why she doesn't make the list. She's just not badass enough to
out-badass the Terminator over there.
On the other hand, THIS.
And yet, it just might work. Synder seems to have a penchant for sort-of-not-really-well-known actors to star in his films, and Sucker Punch is no exception. Five girls, who have starred in a few movies, including High School Frickin' Musical are about to become the newest team of action heroines. Hopefully they think for themselves instead of blindly following the orders of some guy on the other end of the phone, like a few Charlie's Angels who will remain unnamed. 

 Seriously, have you seen the trailer? No? Well lucky for you, I've embedded it here:

They fight a friggin' dragon.


Director: Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen)
Release Date: March 25, 2011
Rated: Not Yet Rated
IMDb page

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Is TVD a Twilight Spin-Off?

Stefan: broody brood brood
Edward: broody brood broody brood

Hmm. This is suspicious. Both Twilight and The Vampire Diaries feature a brunette girl in high school being romanced by a vamp. Coincidence?

There is no defense for the blonde, vegetarian vamp hero who is constantly trying to save his brown-haired girlfriend from the dangers of evil vamps and werewolves...or is there? I'll just briefly mention that the author of the books TVD is based on wrote her series years before Stephenie Meyer started writing her poorly constructed novels. One might even argue that she read the TVD series and decided to copy it, and it was unrecognizable because Meyer’s creative writing skills are so unbelievably terrible. (Example: "My mechanic is busy these days, busy running around as a giant wolf,” says Bella of Jacob.)
Current plan for avoiding being compared to Twilight: lots of oil, and 
naked legs; also a girl in a corset sitting in a guy's crotch with 
another guy's head in her crotch.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I'm Most Excited About...#4

These are a few films that have been on my radar for some time, and they're the films I'm probably most excited to see. Some of these films have been released, but I haven't seen them yet, so there. Here's the fourth film of this series...

I could go on for several paragraphs about why this movie is pretty much going to be amazing, but honestly, why would that be necessary? Let's just quickly run through the facts.

It stars Daniel Craig, who has been signed on to the James Bond franchise as the titular character, and doing a fabulous job as the famous agent. While I had a cold attitude toward the new Bond, who is more rough and tumble than suave, I quickly warmed up to Craig. He may have yet to utter the famous "Bond, James Bond" line, but as far as I'm concerned he's already established his Bond badassery. Craig will now be applying this badassery to this movie, which is fine with me.

Co-starring with Craig is Harrison Ford, who's last three movies have been, to put it lightly, bad. Need I remind you of the fourth Indiana Jones, or Extraordinary Measures? Let's just ignore his reprisal as Indy and stick with his other recent films, which have pretty much been him trying to move outside the Action genre. And the other genres pretty much crushed his soul under the cash from his sellout and told him to get back where he belongs. So now, here's Ford in a new action movie getting back in the saddle (ahaha Western, saddle, get it?). Here's to hoping it's awesome. And who are we kidding? It's Harrison Ford getting his hands dirty in a western. I'm up for that. Olivia Wilde also stars. The actress has been in breakout heaven this season with two big-budget films, this and Tron.

Also have I mentioned the star power behind this? Steven Spielberg is executive producer, Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are also producing. As for the writers, Robert Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Damon Lindelof are the powerhouses behind this baby. You might not recognize those names, so let me just say that they pretty much own the genre of Awesome. No joke. Orci and Kurtzman wrote the new Star Trek, both Transformers, TV shows Hawaii Five-O  and Fringe, Mission Impossible III, The Island, and to top it all, several seasons of Alias. Lindelof is pretty famous as well for a little show that was pretty popular called Lost. Director Jon Favreau has been at the helm of both Iron Man movies. Seriously, the crew is almost cooler than the cast.
"How DARE you! I am definitely cooler. Say it. Or I'll blast you
with this alien weapon attached to my arm"


Director: Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Elf)
Release Date: 29 July 2011
Rated: Not Yet Rated
IMDb page

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Not Too Happy With This One...

OMG! The new Pirates of the Caribbean trailer is out! Check it!


Yeah. It kinda sucked, huh? That's what I thought too.

Let's start with the fact that the trailer is over three minutes long, which is absurd. It doesn't come out for months. What they needed was a teaser, because everyone loves teasers. And when I say everyone, I mean I gave myself a survey and answered "yes" to "do you love teaser-trailers?" A long trailer ruins suspense and lowers anticipation for the film because 1) it's difficult to release a "new" trailer now to continue to heighten anticipation. The trailers will mostly now be the same with maybe one scene added in or taken out. And 2) the audience isn't given a small taste of what's to come in order to make them so ravenously hungry they won't care if the movie is bad, they'll just see it because they need resolution from that damn trailer. As evidence, I call your attention to the 300, Dark Knight, and Transformers 2 teaser-trailers. It didn't matter how good the movies were going to be, the scenes were just awesome. That's what the POTC 4 teaser needed. A couple of good scenes of Johnny Depp doing his Jack Sparrow thing, because everyone loves it. Instead we got three whole minutes of cobbled together scenes of the good Cap'n saying some sort of funny stuff and glimpses of random characters, and long explanation of the premise, which seemed really unnecessary. It's the Fountain of Youth we get it. STOP SAYING IT OVER AND OVER.

Also, what's with the breaking the fourth wall thing? It was an entirely unnecessary, and overly childish, time-consuming, kind of boring part of the trailer. "Hello boys and girls...my name is Captain Jack Sparrow". Seriously? Super lame.

I want to be super excited for this movie, and I can't lie- I will definitely see it. Because Depp and Sparrow are just great. But the last two I've been disappointed by, so I'm not holding my breath for some mind-blowing show.
"Ah I think I see an enemy over there, let's hide behind these vines and my dreads will blend in!"

Friday, December 10, 2010

Transformers 3 Trailer Released




My obsession with trailers and expertise regarding them tells me this is a great trailer. What is it? What's going on? Astronauts? Yes. A moon conspiracy even better than faking the moon landing? Yes. A transformer? Yes. The actors that IMDb tells me are starring in the film don't even appear in the trailer, but they include Shia LaBouf, Josh Duhamel, Hugo Weaving, Tyrese Gibson, Allen Tudyk, John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, Patrick Dempsey, and Frances freaking McDormand, to name just a few. John Turturro will also be reprising his role as that funny, but mostly annoying guy- you know the one. As if it weren't enough to have a list of actors a mile long, a new character, Carly Witwicky is introduced in this movie, who will be played by Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Apparently, Megan Fox was both irritating to work with, and not good-looking enough for this movie. So they replaced Megan:
Hey, I'm Megan
 With Rosie:
"Hey, I'm a Victoria's Secret model"
Well played, Michael Bay. Well played.

Director: Michael Bay
Release Date: 1 July 2011
Rated: Not Yet Rated
IMDb page

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm Most Excited About...#3

These are a few films that have been on my radar for some time, and they're the films I'm probably most excited to see. Some of these films have been released, but I haven't seen them yet, so there. Here's the third film of this series...
"Check it ladies, my wingspan is like huge"

Okay, so considering the last two films I wrote about were A) graphically disgusting enough to make people puke in public, or B) a psychological thriller involving an unbalanced (ironic, I know) ballerina going insane, it might seem strange that I'm so interested in Pale Male. But seriously, have you seen the trailer? Because it will totally make you cry. 



The Legend of Pale Male is a documentary about an extraordinary bird nicknamed "Pale Male" by New Yorkers. Now although Red-tailed Hawks are common in North America, the bird hasn't been seen in New York for a hundred years. In 1993, this one awesome hawk showed up in New York City and was like, "Hey look, a giant kingdom I should rule over! Now I need a sweet crib, mmmm I guess 5th Avenue will do." Birdwatchers took notice of the hawk when he built a huge nest overlooking the city. Before long fans of the Pale Male, as he was named, were congregating to see what he would do next, and pretty soon after that, Pale Male had an international fandom. The movie follows Pale Male and his story.
"I must fly around and make sure everyone remembers I am their ruler."
Now if you're not quite getting why anyone would care about a boring old bird, let me enlighten you. Red-Tailed Hawks are wicked cool. First of all, they have a wingspan of nearly five feet, which means they're twice the size of your toddler. Second, these hawks particularly choose nesting spots that overlook all of their domain, which is generally a cliff overlooking the whole freaking world. Or in Pale Male's case, he picked a spot where he could hang out with Woody Allen and Mary Tyler Moore. These birds weigh only 3 pounds, yet they routinely hunt game that's twice their size. 
This rabbit used to be half his size
Not only that, but they fiercely defend their nests from Eagles, which are twice their size, and Great Horned Owls, which literally eat them for breakfast. Also, watch this video:
Yeah, that bird isn't pissed or anything, Red-tailed Hawks just always sound that cool.

While most reviews label The Legend of Pale Male a sappy film, I don't really care. The point of seeing the movie is not the narrating or the creepers who spend their lives watching this bird and his mate. The point of seeing the movie is to watch a Red-tailed Hawk be awesomely cool. In Hollywood today, everybody has their CG animals, whether they're talking lions in Chronicles of Narnia, or talking bears in Golden Compass, or Hedwig from Harry Potter, or chipmunks, or hamsters, or whatever. The newest twist on the talking animal concept is The Beaver, which is about Mel Gibson communicating through a puppet. Literally the studio describes the film saying, "Walter can't seem to get himself back on track...until a beaver hand puppet enters his life." Anyway, what I'm saying is that Pale Male is the real deal. He isn't CG or made up. As one viewer put it, "The sight of a hawk flipping itself in mid-air and doing a dead drop into a flock of flying pigeons, emerging with lunch clutched in its claws, would be truly breathtaking even if it weren’t taking place against the incongruous backdrop of streetlights and building fa├žades."

Trailer:
Director: Frederic Lilien
Not Rated.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I'm Most Excited About...#2

These are a few films that have been on my radar for some time, and they're the films I'm probably most excited to see. Some of these films have been released, but I haven't seen them yet, so there. Here's the second film of this series...
"I am birdwoman. Feeeeear me"
So next on the list would be Aronofsky's Black Swan. This stars Natalie Portman, who you might know from her kind of important roles in the Star Wars prequels, V for Vendetta, and a hilarious rap song on SNL. She's also famous for looking like Ramona, that character from the Beverly Clearly kids books, in a movie called The Professional in which she plays a waifish orphan who convinces a professional assassin not only let her move in with him, but to teach her the ropes of you know, assassinating people so she can go on a murderous rampage against the people who killed her parents. Also she's like twelve. It is widely considered one of the greatest child actor performances of all time.
This is also a movie that completely disregards all gun safety
tips you ever thought were remotely important. Also all social
rules regarding older men and little girls.
In Black Swan, Portman portrays a young and talented (and dangerously unbalanced) ballerina who lands the role of a lifetime in "Swan Lake". But a new ballerina's(Mila Kunis) competition starts to push the already-possibly-insane girl off the edge. Her pursuit of the Black Swan may cause the dancer to lose her mind. Losing your mind is a big deal. Like Britney Spears shaved her head, big whoop. Natalie Portman's character is pretty sure she's turning into a bird. And not like Miley Cyrus put on some bird wings and stuck herself in a cage like some under-aged stripper. Like this:
"ACK! I'm a bird! I just pulled a freaking feather from my own skin!"
Portman, who is barely over five feet tall, reportedly lost 20 pounds for the film by eating only carrots and almonds, and worked out to the point that she was swimming a mile a day and rigorously practicing ballet for five hours a day. Please, spend months eating almonds and see how you feel about working out every day for five hours on your tippy toes. Portman's getting in character freaked the director out when he noticed her spine and ribs sticking out, and he insisted she eat more because that's just gross. Also she could collapse from exhaustion and it was dangerous to her health. According to Portman she's now eating healthily.

Look. This is a movie that the actors and the director have put an incredible amount of work into. I mean, the star actress starved themselves so you could see a good movie, so go see it dagnabbit! Director Darren Aronofsky's other notable work includes a couple of little films called Requiem for a Dream and The Wrestler, you might have heard of them before. So. Great star, plus an amazing director, plus a touch of psychosis, says to me: Great film.


Black Swan has been stacking up rave reviews to keep in a giant swimming pool which will be shipped off to Oscar voters come awards time to prove how awesome it is. Portman is considered to have guaranteed herself a spot on the Best Actress list at the Academy Awards with this performance. Says one blogger, "While the screenplay employs numerous twists to help bring about her state of mental anguish, her change from a timid young girl to psychotic, crazy bitch is nothing short of Oscar worthy." Now doesn't that just say it all?


Of course, you might be asking yourself why you'd want to see Natalie Portman as a half-starved, three-fourths-crazy psycho, but that's why this is my list, not yours.



Director: Darren Aronofsky
Rated: Rated R for strong sexual content, disturbing violent images, language and some drug use.
See the IMDb page here

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

WB Reboots Buffy...Without Joss Whedon

Joss Whedon with the (amazingly good-looking) cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"


Joss Whedon recently responded to the news that WB is rebooting his "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" franchise without him by writing a letter that deserves to be reposted here. According to Whedon himself, this was his reaction:
This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths - just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself. 

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more? 

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you. 

Leave me to my pain! 

Sincerely, 

Joss Whedon



Here's what I got out of this letter: "I'm SO ENRAGED! but trying to be funny about it. Love (sarcastically), Joss Whedon". 
Too many fans are " running through their hometowns filled with rage armed with pitchforks and molotov cocktails looking to make someone pay" as one blogger put it, because Poor Joss Whedon was just cast aside like an old toy to be replaced by no-name, no experience, 29-year-old Whitney Anderson. But in reality, Whedon was asked to head up the project last year and turned it down. JOSS WHEDON TURNED IT DOWN?! WHAAAAT?! Yes, I thought that might be your reaction, but look. Joss Whedon originally penned Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie, which was released in 1992. Or actually, he penned the original script, and apparently the producers took it, butchered it, and released this:
The tagline is "Pert. Wholesome. Totally Lethal."
The concept was there, but Whedon's ideas had pretty much been thrown out the window, stomped on my a monkey in a feather boa, eaten by rats and the picked back up when they came out the other end. In other words, it was bad, and not what Whedon had written. Joss was asked to make a spin-off TV show, so he did. He did it his way, and this is what we have now:


That's Buffy with a gory battle axe that she just destroyed some evil dude with.
Let's keep in mind that Whedon created this show before vampires were absurdly popular, like they are today. "Buffy" wasn't about being cliched, it was about breaking stereotypes. Buffy is a smart-aleck, blond, tiny cheerleader, who normally would be the damsel in distress. Instead, she's the one saving everybody. As far as revolutionary strong female characters go, Buffy tops the list. 


Joss Whedon worked with the cast of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" for 7 seasons, as well as the spin-off show "Angel". This guy and "Buffy" are legendary. Did you know he was nominated for an Emmy for a "Buffy" episode that didn't even have any dialogue in it. He's that good. So Joss Whedon wrote snappy, witty dialogue for Sarah Michelle Gellar for seven years, right? And this dialogue, the stories, the lore, are all Joss Whedon, and Gellar was his Buffy. 


Now here's how I see it. Gellar is too old to play a high school cheerleader anymore. But she was, and always will be, Buffy to Joss Whedon. How could he make a reboot without her? And how could a reboot be made without him? That's what Whedon thought anyway. He passed on the job last year figuring his turn-down would bury the project. And then it didn't, and some actress wrote a script for a new Buffy. Not cool. 


I just hope the producers and this "Whitney Anderson" have considered the consequences of pissing off the armies of fans who love Joss just as much as they love Buffy. After all, the point of making a reboot is to mostly attract the old fanbase to go see it. Except now the fanbase has been betrayed and enraged. Let me lay this out:


Disciples of Buffy = Disciples of Joss Whedon = possible violence against new "Buffy" reboot.


Pictured: actual "Buffy" fan in costume. Not pictured: murderous rage.
Aaaagh! The fluffy pink sweater with dead butterflies pinned to it makes it so much worse! Now imagine that  outside your window at night ready to go all Buffy on your ass. Yeah. That's what I thought too. It's TERRIFYING.


Go ahead with your little reboot, WB, but just keep in mind what happened last time you tried to make a Buffy movie without Joss Whedon. And picture that pink-sweatered vampire girl outside your window. Hopefully it will frighten you out of making the movie, and you'll come to your senses and realize it's just a stupid idea.

I'm Most Excited About...

These are a few films that have been on my radar for some time, and they're the films I'm probably most excited to see. Yes, yes, Green Lantern doesn't make the list, but neither does Nic Cage's upcoming film Drive Angry in which he drives around...angry. Honestly, I can't put Green Lantern on this list because I'm just not sure if it's going to be great, or if it's mostly just going to suck. Because the trailer wasn't so great, and I have a habit of basing assumptions for upcoming movies on their trailers. Also, I want to be incredibly excited for the movie  (I mean Ryan Reynolds? How can that not be awesomely entertaining?) but also it could turn out like Fantastic Four. Or Spiderman 3. Yeah, I saw you cringe just now. Now you understand why I can't be excited for it yet. Moving on.

Some of these films have been released, but I haven't seen them yet, so there. Here's the first film of this series...

 It stars James Franco, and pretty much no one else, and tells the true (not based on a true story, actually true) story of Aron Ralston, a mountain climber and adrenaline junkie, who has become an international symbol for the human will to live. In case you aren't familiar with the story, or somehow forgot it, Ralston was trapped for days without food or water after a solo adventuring trip went bad and he managed to get his arm pinned against a rock wall. Not only had he made the bad decision to go adventuring solo, but he also didn't tell anyone where he was going. Ralston, realizing no one was coming to rescue him and he was going to die, ended up cutting off his own arm. With a dull pocket knife. Upon realizing he was still in the middle of the freaking desert, Ralston rappelled down a cliff (with his bleeding stump of an arm), and started trekking into the desert before he ran into some hikers, who were nice enough to call 911. (But not nice enough to be there a few days ago before he amputated his own arm?
On the plus side, Ralston now has this sweet pickax arm. 
Oops, sorry, I spoiled the movie. But c'mon, it's like Titanic, the point of the movie isn't really the plot anyway. Ralston apparently filmed his last goodbyes to his friends and family, and recorded what was going on while he was trapped. The tapes are so private, and probably so disturbing, that they have never been publicly released, and are kept in a bank vault. For the movie the director and Franco were allowed to see the recordings to get a better understanding of Ralston's state of mind. This isn't a movie you go see for some twist ending, or special effects. It's about a real human experience, it's about a state of mind, it's about an intimate look inside someone's head. (Also it's about a gruesome amputation scene that has caused audience members to vomit, leave, faint, and even have seizures.) The seizing woman was taken to a hospital and claimed the seizure was not caused by the film, although she hadn't had a seizure since she was a child.The retching and fainting audience members, however, apparently came back to watch the rest of the movie, although probably stayed away from the popcorn after that.  Look, that tells me that people are willing to forgo washing that vomit-taste out of their nose and mouth just to see the end of the movie that made them hurl in the first place. Somehow to me that translates to "This movie is amazing". Now isn't that something to be excited about?

Director: Danny Boyle
Length: 94 min
Rated: Rated R for language and some disturbing violent content/bloody images.
See the trailer here.
See the IMDb page here.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Music Videos I've Recently Decided to Hate

I was obsessively watching music video after music video yesterday. (In case you couldn't tell from all the music videos I'm posting.) And I ran into these two videos. They're terrifyingly awful.


Justin Bieber's "Pray"
As far as cotton candy pop goes, Justin Bieber kind of owns the market. And that's all cool and everything. We all enjoy a little guilty pleasure music every once in awhile- Miley Cyrus, JoBros, and Justin Bieber are pretty much the entire genre. And then there's this song, which seems nice. Until you see the music video, in which JB takes all the attention that should be given to Haiti and cancer children, and makes it all about him and how apparently nice he is. Which is just kind of disgusting. It also features Bieber playing guitar in a giant lighted heart to his audience of screaming girls, just in case they forgot what place he should occupy in their lives.



Jesse McCartney's "Shake"
First of all, why is Jesse McCartney still making music? Second of all, why is he wearing that suit in a music video that's all about ghetto ass-shaking? Also, what is the point of this video? I'm genuinely not sure what McCartney is trying to get across. Because he looks like a babyfaced pimp in a tailored suit who just stepped out of the 1950s. He seems thoroughly unimpressed by all of the girls in their underwear shaking it in his face. Maybe Justin Timberlake could look nonchalant in a moment like that, but McCartney looks like he's twelve, why is he so not excited about being a womanizer? Also he looks like this, which weirds me out:

Music Videos

Great celebrity appearances in music videos:


Enrique Iglesias- "Push"

In all honesty, the creepiness of Enrique Iglesias filming a porno for these two actors, who recently played teenagers in the Step Up 2 movie almost ruins it, but whatever.



Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi"
Oh Alexander Skarsgard, you're so dreamy. Aaand then he pushes her off the balcony. Moving on...



Aerosmith's "Cryin'"
Stephen Dorff and Alicia Silverstone. Also, was that Josh Holloway- Sawyer from Lost??



Vampire Weekend's "Giving Up the Gun"
Jake Gylenhaal is the best thing about this video, it's just too funny. Also there's a JoBro in it, always a plus.



Elton John's "I Want Love"
It's rather heartbreaking to see Robert Downey, Jr. walk around in an empty palace singing Elton John, isn't it?



Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers- "Into the Great Wide Open"
Who knew Johnny Depp had a starring role in a music video? It's kind of an awesome music video though.

It's Just Always Bothered Me

 Can we talk about this picture for a second? I think it's a wonderful marketing campaign that tells no lies. Here is Bella. Here are her two boy toys. They're all airbrushed and awesome looking. Look how shiny and smooth and slightly dead they all look! The fans don't care about the plot, or action, or whatever, they care about these three. So. Good poster design.

But wait. I mentioned something about the airbrushing and the looking dead. The problem is that Kristen Stewart's face seems to have been mysteriously pasted into this picture. Her hair doesn't even attach to her head, it's so bad. Also it makes her head look oddly tall. Like a conehead. Also her facial expression makes me think that A) she's really tired from doing her homework all night, B) she's suuuper high, or C) she's dead. I'm not sure how else you could get that facial expression that creepily expresses absolutely nothing. Seriously, look at her face. There's nothing there but dead...deadness. Strange...Also she has no ears, which is worrisome, particularly because it makes me think she does have ears, but they're just covered with her hair, which means her sideburns have grown out waaay too long.

Oo! Look check this out!

Ed Westwick's face fits here too!

Trailers

Worst Trailer of the Day:


Just Wright. First of all, the title kind of sucks. Second of all this entire trailer plays like an example of what not to do. Mostly it represents of the big mistakes trailer-makers fall prey to: they put the entire film into the trailer. This trailer is long, drawn out, and features every conflict that will be in the film, AND the predictable ending. Truly unfortunate.

Best Trailer of the Day:


Cowboys & Aliens. First of all, who wouldn't go to see a movie titled "Cowboys & Aliens"? Second of all, it's freaking James Bond and Indiana Jones fighting freaking aliens in the freaking Wild Wild West. This trailer is the opposite of what we saw in the previous clip. We're given a taste of the idea of the film, and we see its three stars, some explosions, and that's just about it. You're left wanting to know more, despite the fact that almost nothing of importance has been revealed to you. Beautifully done.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Waiting For Superman



If you ever had any doubts about the public school system's ability to teach children effectively, prepare to have them all confirmed. This film exposes the shameful, terrifying, awful (how many other adjectives for "disturbingly bad" can I use?) state of the public school system. If you're not quite sure why it's a big deal if the public school system you grew up in isn't the best, then you should see this film. In the education system Waiting for Superman depicts, our children's future is placed as a secondary priority next to teachers' job security. In this education system we spend more on feeding and supporting a convicted felon for a year than we do supporting a child's education for a year. In this system, schools are forced to retain poor teachers because of tenure, and year after year that teacher hinders the education of hundreds of kids. In this system, bad schools create drop-outs, a bad economy, and are a blight to not just their neighborhood, but the entire nation.


Waiting follows five young children: Anthony, Francisco, Bianca, Daisy, and Emily, and their families as they  attempt to forge a better future for themselves through the public school system, a journey  few kids ever successfully navigate or complete.


We need to wake up, smell the decaying stench of our public education system, and cut out the dying, infected flesh that's ruining the futures of our children, and the future of our country.


Directed by Davis Guggenheim
MPAA rating: PG for some thematic material, mild language and incidental smoking.
See the trailer here

Welcome!

Find out which films to absolutely skip and which you can't miss. THese are my opinions on current films and timeless classics