Tuesday, January 18, 2011

2011 Golden Globe Awards: Dress Mess

First of all, let's talk fashion. We can discuss the actual awards after. Let me start off by saying that every other woman arriving on the red carpet looked like she was headed for a high school prom (Jenna Ushkowitz, Mila Jovovich, Julia Stiles, Kelly Osbourne, Piper Perabo, I'm talking to you). The actresses who weren't going to prom were wearing sleek silhouettes and gorgeous nudes, neutrals, and pretty pinks, and it looked like some of them even let their children dress them (Aw cute? Uh, no). Let's take a look at the 2011 Golden Globes fashion...

Clothing Confusion...
That's what these had to be. Just a little mistake. One of those "it seemed like a good idea at the time" fashion oopses. Their make up is sweet and their hair is perfect, but the dress just kinda ruins it with its confused design.
Elizabeth Moss's green dress has a wonderful neckline, but it quickly becomes a mess of asymmetrical lines and random pleating. Jane Lynch's dress was too heavy, even tall as she is, and the texture is feathery one moment, and pleating the next, and then there's the belt and the awkward neck. Hope Davis' dress would have been gorgeous if its design weren't so schizo. Lace seems to have been assigned at random, but the silhouette is pretty.
Oh that's not that...mm okay, yeah it is...
Sometimes it's the little things that make or break a dress. It could be the fabric that just doesn't work, or the shape, or maybe your shoes are just weird. Even a flat hairstyle can take the air out of your outfit's sails (cough Olivia Wilde cough).
With Tina Fey's dress, there seems to be something awkward about the fabric, and something uncomfortable about its over-clinginess, and there's definitely something funky about those shoulder pleats. Jennifer Lopez's gown is downright gorgeous. She would have been on the best dressed list...if it weren't for that ridiculous cape. I don't know where to begin with Heidi Klum's dress. It doesn't seem to fit, the waist is bulky, and the material seems to drape in all the wrong ways.
Face Palm...
You've been warned. What you are about to see may cause you to slap yourself compulsively and repetitively in the face. These ladies were going for an edgy look, but it seems they may have fallen off the edge and into a swamp of "aaaaaugh"
Gabourey Sidibe usually shows up on the red carpet dazzling in a perfect gown, but this seems to be the exception. This floral nightgown should have stayed at home. Julianne Moore. The color is loud, which is great, but the one long sleeve swooping up to grab the gold halter neck is just a little too..."what?" Halle Berry has been a red carpet glamour icon, but she seems to have lost her way in the mall and stumbled out of Victoria's Secret onto the red carpet. The bodice could have worked, but the sheer asymmetry and odd layering going on in the skirt spoils the look.
Queens of the Dress Mess...
Somehow they were let out of the house looking like this. Why? We may never know.
January Jones's scarlet dress was sizzlin' hot. Except for the fringe going on at the bottom. And the fact that when I saw it I immediately thought of this scene from The Fifth Element when Mila Jovovich runs around scantily clad. 

Can we talk about the fact that her shoes don't match?  Also her dress seems to be coming FROM EVERYWHERE and it creates a four-foot radius of dress doom that no one wants to wander into. Also she's wearing sunglasses and appears to have fashioned her hair into a fuzzy hat.

I'll be the first to admit I've never been a fan of Tilda Swinton's minimalism, but I have always been intrigued by her red carpet looks. Until this. Everything about the cut is awkward- the material, the hem, the sleeves...please make it go away.


Anonymous said...

"She seems to have fashioned her hair into a fuzzy hat" my favorite line of the week...maybe the month.

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