Film Fancy: Review: Green Lantern

Look everyone's been ripping into Green Lantern because either they're fanboys and it doesn't live up to their expectations, or because it wasn't as good as Dark Knight, or because it has "clunky writing" as Rolling Stones' Peter Travers puts it. Eh, I guess all those things are true. It isn't a fanboy's film, and Dark Knight created a new standard for superhero films, and it does have some dialogue that doesn't work too well, but I found it really entertaining.

He has super powers. It's hard to not be entertaining. Unless you
turn into like a green troll as your super power. Man that would suck.

Green Lantern is the story of the irresponsible, but born-to-do-this fighter pilot, Hal Jordan. Then he is selected to be part of an elite fighting force, the Green Lanterns, who protect the universe from evil with a no-fear attitude and a magical green ring that can conjure anything the wearer’s imagination can conceive. Will Hal become a hero or walk away? Hm. I wonder.

From this poster I deduce he chooses hero.

I've been very apprehensive from the start about Green Lantern. I saw the trailer and noticed a few things: first, Blake Lively. Anybody seen her acting? Yeah, not great. I don't care how much you like Gossip Girl or The Town she isn't what makes either of em any good. Second, the suit looked a little fake. Third, Ryan Reynolds.

Yeah. You know why. You know.

So as it turned out I ended up being right. The suit was really tight and a little unbelievable even if it is created by Hal's magical green lantern powers. And Lively seemed to ruin all of her lines, clunky writing or no. In addition it was predictable. Like I called the villains and their backstories, and I'm not even a fankid. Plus I called the ending and the sequel story. And I’m not even a fankid.

Hal: So you've never been able to act? Wow
Whatshername: Nope, never. But they keep hiring me. I'm pretty I guess.

ALSO RYAN REYNOLDS

"Hey there. It's me, Ryan Reynolds, just doin' some of my best
work ever in Blade Trinity. I stole Wesley Snipes' own movie from
him. I know. I should be dead. But I'm too awesome."

Did you know he has some magical ability to make any movie better? Yeah that’s right. I hate predictability and I loathe bad acting, especially by “strong female characters” and Reynolds pretty much makes up for all of it. He’s funny, he’s entertaining, he’s good lookin’. Done.

Wow, look at that. No, not at his abs. Look at the fact that he’s making this review like ten thousand times better. I know. Amazing.

Other reviewers have been complaining that the effects are boring or not very good. My dad complained that Hal Jordan didn’t do a lot of hand to hand combat. But every action movie has some rolling on the floor fight with the good guy getting the crap beat out of him before making a comeback and defeating the villain. Personally I thought it was interesting to see how Hal Jordan used his superpower, instead of a cliché fight with the bad guy.

ALSO RYAN REYNOLDS

Blake Lively's best acting: pretending to be unconscious

Oh did I mention that already? Sorry.

Look, nothing’s going to measure up to Dark Knight. Maaaaybe the next Batman might have a shot, might, and it’s directed by Chris Nolan himself. But the Iron Mans? Eh. The Spiderman sequels? Disasters. Honestly, I’m hoping Captain America will be awesome, but the trailer makes the dialogue sound a little hokey, and the relationship between Captain America and Whatsherface seems a little cheesy. The new trailer looks aight, and the villain is played by the incredible, the talented, the wonderful Hugo Weaving (Lord of the Rings, V for Vendetta), but I’m not gonna lie it does kind of look like some kind of weird government propaganda, and Weaving looks a little plastic as the villain.

"Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Green Lantern was fun. I laughed, I liked Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, it was short and sweet and didn’t drag. And it wasn’t some movie about saving the rainforest. I’m all for political messages in movies, but sometimes when the superhero turns out fighting global warming itself it’s kind of weird. This had a regular villain, who’s super evil and wants to destroy everything, and a great hero who wants to save everyone. Bing bang boom, done.