Monday, May 7, 2007
At last, after long anticipation, Spidey 3 finally made its appearance here in town on opening day. I arrived early with a group of friends and we were among the first to enter the theater. We were lucky. The line went down the block, apparently.
Warning: Spoilers may be ahead, read no further if you have not seen Spider-Man 3!
Sadly, after all the hype, after all the waiting, after all of the anticipation and guesswork, Spider-Man 3 just doesn't measure up. The movie is nearly three hours long, but the entire thing is crammed with way too much plot for just one movie. Sadly, this will mean yet another sequel. Most superhero movies focus on one, maybe two villains. This film takes on Peter's ego, Peter as Venom, Eddie Brock the evil photographer, Eddie Brock as Venom, Sandman (a completely pointless addition that adds nothing but more special effects), Harry as his father's sequel, M.J., and a conflicting love interest. All in all the sheer volume of storylines in this movie nearly rivals that of Pirates 2. And that's saying something.
Spider-Man 3 was predictable, and bordering on boring. There were pointless, unnecessary storylines like that of Sandman. He's a boring villain with nothing that sets him apart from other villains. He's your classic misunderstood, "I only became evil to help people" supervillain. For some reason, they also decided to throw in that oh, by the way *SPOILER!* He really killed Peter Parker's uncle, not the guy who's already dead. I mean, come on. Did we really have to go over all of this again? As if that's not enough, we have to waste a bunch more time having Peter dance around in the streets all emo.
There were far too many ridiculous scenes and silly "what the heck?" moments. Why does Peter's hair keep changing colors? Is there a reason for the eyeliner too? Why does Spider-Man save Bryce-Dallas Howard from the rampaging crane and then leave without having stopped the rampaging crane? Is the part with the waving flag really necessary?
This third Spidey movie will have to receive a sad, 2 1/2 stars out of five. Those stars are generous kudos to James Franco and the underlying story of the real Spidey- egotistical and a media whore. Interesting take. Also, Spidey does pull some pretty cool moves, and the special effects aren't half-bad.
Starring Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, Kirsten Dunst as Mary-Jane, James Franco as Harry, Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom, and Bryce-Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy, Peter's Conflicting Love Interest. (Which by the way is a sad step down from The Village and Lady in the Water.)
Spidey isn't exactly unmissable. More of Unavoidable.